she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
