Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My ass is underappreciated
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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