I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize