It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
