look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
