Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
