I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
