What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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