I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
