my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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