Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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