I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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