And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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