How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
