Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just google imaged poop.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize