Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
