Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
