I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
