Sry I called you an 8
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
