The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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