Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize