Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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