Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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