I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
