I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
