you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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