I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
