dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
your room smells of hookers.
And success
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
