My hair reeks of homosexuality.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize