I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
