There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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