let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
