trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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