Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
