i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
