fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
