Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
