Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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