And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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