dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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