who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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