come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
