My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
