Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize