I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
