he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
