Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
