My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You made out with two different species that night
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I party with great urgency now.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
