I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
