Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
