Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
