we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize