So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
