Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
