gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
