Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You know, be my cock's hype man.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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