i think my mom watched the whole time
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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