sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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