she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
