If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
