holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize