just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
