she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize