dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
