i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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