and she was petting her beer can
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
