you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize