found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it's like heaven, but drunker
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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