It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize