I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
