True but thats because hes a fetus.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
