Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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