and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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